SIMPLY EXIST OR EXIST SIMPLY
Lisa Colbert aka FLICKERSHINE
I don’t care to conform to expectations
Not even my own
I don’t care to feel my emotions
I just don’t want to be alone
But who will accept me
If I won’t accept myself
How will I find me?
When I am so lost
Mixed in a spiral of colour and colourless
Faded and tattered without animation
Facing my truth, feels like humiliation
Painful and heavy and filled with confusion
Drugs the simple choice to bring an infusion
Of what?
High
Escape
Dampening to drowning
Familiar and comforting
In a twisted way
Like a playground slide
Spiraling into artic waters
The cold numbing
Surrender to not being able to breathe,
Feel,
Function,
Live,
Simply exist
Until the cold is too much to bear
When a full spirit shiver awakens the soul
Resonates the energy
Rekindles the spark
A place where the warmth hides protected from the self inflicted winds
Let it surface
Let me breathe,
Feel,
Function,
Live,
Exist simply
Make the pain possible to bear
Let me look back at myself and see the little girl there
The innocence worth nurturing
The vulnerability to protect
Make me feel worthy of living in this beautiful world
Without being perfect, or expected, or anything but real
Help me not be afraid of what surrender may reveal
Faith
Hope
Possibility
Absence of fear Living in the moment to allow my true path to appear.