We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person’s feelings.

When we know what creates our negative feelings and responses, we can use boundaries to manage relationships and ask for our needs to be met. An internal boundary is like an invisible shield preventing us from compromising our emotional, physical and spiritual capacity.

Argumentative exchanges often centre in an investment in being right or being understood. Other emotional interactions centre in hurt feelings, invasion of personal space and feeling disrespected.

Boundaries help us to create agreements that respect what we need to feel heard, seen and validated. When we make and honour boundaries, we are sending a message of worth to our inner self.

Neglecting ourselves to avoid conflict and perceived consequence, we compromise internal boundaries and can make it difficult to set boundaries at all. Managing our fears related to expressing boundaries makes more space for self respect, energy and personal power.

When our inner voice produces doubt, confusion and irritability it is a good time to check in with something that may become more than an annoyance, if we ignore that inner signal. With practice, boundaries take our personal power back. As we learn it is not necessary to defend or over explain, we may notice facing the fear and discomfort asserting boundaries is shifting our confidence.

 “Guilt is the most common obstacle to taking care of yourself. You will feel guilty by making yourself a priority. To overcome guilt, face it head on. See it as a sign you are on the right track” ~Carol Richardson